Finding Happiness with Loss
Never, in a million years, did I ever expect to share something so personal on such a public platform. Miscarriage, while so heartbreaking, is very much uncomfortable. It's a natural, human reaction to freeze and lose words. You don't know how to respond. Do you hug them? Stay away? Do you say something? Tell a story? Comfort them? Stay silent? Everyone responds differently.
When I've heard of friends losing their babies, I was saddened. Whether it was an acquaintance or a best friend, I felt it. Even though I had never experienced a loss until recently, I felt the heartache. It's a terrible feeling that you'd never wish upon anyone.
As we've shared our story, I have realized just how common losses are. More than I ever imagined. We still have friends and families pouring out their love for us through phone calls, texts, and messages. Friends I haven't seen in 10 years have opened up to me and shared their story. Acquaintances have even opened up to me about some of the darkest times of their life. And I am eternally grateful. It has helped me heal.
Knowing we are not alone in this process has made all the difference. I posted about our loss on a whim and had no idea if I would regret it. And I definitely do not regret it! I was struggling but wanted to speak up about something I was passionate about. Infertility, and now loss, are unfortunately very close to my heart.
I blame infertility for my obsession with all things fertility and pregnancy. You do not want to know how much I know about my cervix, or anything related to it! Haha. I have spent so much money on tests, fertility medications, copays, and more. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. And we haven't even seen the worst of it.
Our issues with infertility are mild. I know every story is so different, and we all mourn and struggle, cope, and cry. But we are lucky. We have a gorgeous baby boy. It took awhile to get him here, but he is here. I am holding a person that my husband and I created. And I am sensitive to those who do not have this gift.
I am so grateful that others have shared their story. I love the raw emotions I can feel when I hear other stories and struggles. It makes us human. It makes us real. Vulnerable. Stronger. Closer. The courage to share such intense, honest feelings of anger and hopelessness. But there's always the small bit of hope. You can see it. You can feel it. And that's the drive and desire we all need to make our dreams a reality.
I am so thankful for every opportunity I've had to share, chat, and cry with friends these last few days. A small part of me knew I would experience a loss some day, but nothing can prepare you for something like that. But I am thankful for this hardship and for the wonderful experiences it has created for us.
We love every single one of you and we are eternally grateful for all the support. We are healing, but it will take time. We're ready to kick infertility in the booty one more time! Stay tuned for the crazy shenanigans of the Graham Fam in the near future!
When I've heard of friends losing their babies, I was saddened. Whether it was an acquaintance or a best friend, I felt it. Even though I had never experienced a loss until recently, I felt the heartache. It's a terrible feeling that you'd never wish upon anyone.
As we've shared our story, I have realized just how common losses are. More than I ever imagined. We still have friends and families pouring out their love for us through phone calls, texts, and messages. Friends I haven't seen in 10 years have opened up to me and shared their story. Acquaintances have even opened up to me about some of the darkest times of their life. And I am eternally grateful. It has helped me heal.
Knowing we are not alone in this process has made all the difference. I posted about our loss on a whim and had no idea if I would regret it. And I definitely do not regret it! I was struggling but wanted to speak up about something I was passionate about. Infertility, and now loss, are unfortunately very close to my heart.
Our issues with infertility are mild. I know every story is so different, and we all mourn and struggle, cope, and cry. But we are lucky. We have a gorgeous baby boy. It took awhile to get him here, but he is here. I am holding a person that my husband and I created. And I am sensitive to those who do not have this gift.
I am so grateful that others have shared their story. I love the raw emotions I can feel when I hear other stories and struggles. It makes us human. It makes us real. Vulnerable. Stronger. Closer. The courage to share such intense, honest feelings of anger and hopelessness. But there's always the small bit of hope. You can see it. You can feel it. And that's the drive and desire we all need to make our dreams a reality.
We love every single one of you and we are eternally grateful for all the support. We are healing, but it will take time. We're ready to kick infertility in the booty one more time! Stay tuned for the crazy shenanigans of the Graham Fam in the near future!
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