Giving My Husband More Than Leftovers
Being a mother is exhausting. Being a parent in general is exhausting. These tiny humans have so much energy in those itty bitty bodies. By the end of the day, after fighting bedtime and the 100 walks back to bed, Thomas and I both crash in pure exhaustion. This new sleep routine is rough. We're still trying to figure out what will work, but it's very time consuming. Almost every night I am tempted to just let Lincoln nurse to sleep in our bed. Then I remember that having him in his own bed is way overdue and something I'm really pushing. It's getting a little bit easier with each night, but it's still emotionally draining for all of us. But we're a team and we will conquer the overtired monster child! We will prevail! ;)
I've touched on making sure we give enough time to our marriage, but I wanted to dive even deeper into my thoughts. My marriage is something I hope I never take for granted. I need to preserve and protect it with all my might. Marriage is not easy, but having the perfect partner for you is so important.
At the end of the day, I honestly just feel like curling up into a ball and sleeping. I've made it a point to fill our days with fun things, errands, and trips in order to wear Lincoln out. So far it's working, but it's also wearing me out! In the evenings, after we get Lincoln down for bed, I try to perk up for Thomas. Being a blob is not exactly sexy. Sometimes all we have the energy to do is unwind with a TV show we both love. Our weekends are often busy as well, and we're not always together, but I do appreciate the few minutes I get with him each day.
At night, I need to take off my mom cape and put on my wife hat and spend time with my best friend. I need to give him more than leftovers. These days are hard and long sometimes, but they're flying by quickly. I want to enjoy these moments we have in our little home and our tight budget.
Marriage is a huge jump. Even though we're almost 4 years into our marriage, I am continually learning. And I'm sure I'll be learning after 50 years of marriage. I know which buttons to push sometimes (oops!) and I know I'm not the easiest to live with. I'm trying to be better. Thomas is a saint. I told him this just last night. He just laughed, but it's true. I can get pretty grumpy at times. Thomas is so patient with my crazy. It's a special kind of crazy.
Thomas knows that saying "Thank you" is so important to me. It drives me batty when people don't say thank you. I'm not sure if it's the southern blood in me, or what, but I will make ensure my children express thanks and gratitude even if it kills me! Respect is very important to me, and I hope that the tiny humans we raise will always express gratitude.
Even the simple 'thank yous' are so important. Thomas will thank me for throwing the dirty diaper away for him. For making dinner. For cleaning the house. I thank Thomas for filling my gas tank, taking us out to dinner, and helping me with bedtime. Even though it's such a simple thing, those two words can go a long way. Feeling appreciated is such an essential part of a partnership. And I hope my spouse will always feel appreciated.
I've recently become more aware of just how much the family is under attack. Marriages around me are being challenged and it is so scary. Even the strongest marriages have their issues, so I want to be very vigilant. There's nothing I value more than my marriage. Seeing friends' marriages struggling hits so close to home. I am a very emotional and sensitive person, so when a struggling spouse confides in me or they bring it up in conversation, my heart breaks for them. I want to learn from their experiences and help them in some way. Even if I can't relate to their experience, I appreciate them opening up to me. I try to direct them to their bishop or someone that can truly guide and direct them. I've known too many people that have had to bear the sadness of divorce, separation, and even infidelity. It is something I will never, ever consider. Ever. It won't be an option unless you make it an option. Thomas made that very clear when we were dating. Grahams don't get divorced. And I am so thankful for his mindset.
Love your choice. Love your spouse. Love your decision. Love your life. I remind myself of these things often. Many times I sit back and think "I have a good life." Whenever I have these thoughts, I share them with Thomas. I want him to know that is exactly how I feel. We are so blessed with our current circumstances. We still have struggles just like everyone else, but having a positive attitude can go such a long way. I do not want to take a single thing for granted and I want to make our lives wonderful as often as I can.
If you haven't read it recently, I invite you to study The Family: A Proclamation to the World. There are so many beautiful and wonderful things within that inspired message. Each word has been carefully constructed with us in mind. It is such a valuable document. I love that I have such an amazing resource to help guide me as a mother and a wife.
Thomas really IS crazy for choosing a girl as wacky as me, but I am thankful that I chose him every single day. I am so glad I married him. He is my perfect spouse. Neither of us are perfect, but we are perfect for each other. I firmly believe in both spouses giving 110%/110% and not just 50/50.
When Thomas and I were dating, our single's ward Bishop gave us a beautiful painting of Christ in a frame. On the back he drew this diagram. I think about it often. If we are closer to God, we are closer to our spouse. I know that by being diligent in church callings and making sure I am temple worthy are crucial to a successful marriage. I am so thankful I was sealed to my best friend for all eternity and I want to be the best spouse for him.
Thomas and I will celebrate four years of marriage this December. It has flown by and feels like it has been so much longer all at the same time. We've had some really hard times and really great times. The hard times are what made our bond so much stronger. Through infertility, moving to a new state, and busy work and school schedules, we have grown closer.
I love this so much. Because, let's be honest, we all drive each other crazy sometimes!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
♡
Comments
Post a Comment