Why I'm Grateful for My Miscarriage

Before you think I'm crazy for the title, let me preface this post with my two original blog posts if you haven't seen them. This is a continuation of our previous experiences with loss.

{ Who You Would Have Been }

{ Finding Happiness with Loss  }

Many friends have followed up with me about my first loss. They wanted to see how I was coping and if there was anything they could do to help. As we chat, I find myself telling them how grateful I am for such a hard experience. Most of them are shocked and intrigued. Very genuinely curious. I've reflected on the conversations and decided to write them here in our family journal.

Thomas

Losing a pregnancy was beyond devastating. It all happened so suddenly. We saw two lines and before it really sank in, it was over. Thomas is my rock. He prayed with me and I was immediately comforted and at peace. I knew everything would work out. He has seen me at my lowest of lows and I was very close to rock bottom. He brought me back up and brushed the dirt off my knees. My love for him has grown so much. He is my best friend and the only person I would ever want to experience this with.

Lincoln

I squeeze my baby even more tightly every day now. Sometimes my patience runs thin, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We have a baby. A beautiful blessing that is the perfect addition to our family. He is my pride and joy. I cannot wait to see him as a big brother. 

Heavenly Father

My number one. I have drawn so much closer to my father in heaven through all of this. I have thanked him for this experience every single day. I have received so many blessings from this experience. So many friends opened up to me about their losses. Others thanked me for sharing such a personal story. I've been able to help others heal from loss because I now know just how hard it can be.

You

You sweet soul. Taking time out of your day to read the words that help me heal. We wouldn't have survived our loss without the endless outpouring of love we received. Calls, texts, messages, and warm hugs were the perfect remedy. And we are forever grateful .

Talking is Healing

In a way I think I always knew I would have losses. Not in a negative way, but in a realistic way.  Also, because of genetics and losses we've had in my family. We've had a total of 8 losses just in my immediate family. It's so, so common but rarely discussed.

I completely understand why most people don't want to talk about something so incredibly personal. But the thought of women suffering silently absolutely breaks my heart.

Why do we have to suffer alone?

One of the reasons I'm writing about this for the third time is to let others know they are never alone in this struggle.

We all have our different trials. Some have been diagnosed and will never conceive. Others can't conceive and doctors cannot find out why. Some have multiple losses. Some have extreme fertility and conceive more often than they'd prefer. There are so many different situations and outcomes.

While I'd never want to make anyone uncomfortable by talking about my losses, I'm going to write about it until I'm blue in the face. I heal through writing and I want to open your eyes to those around you.

Miscarriage is normal. So common. Your grandmother, mother, sisters, wife, neighbor and friends have experienced the hurt of a loss, infertility, yearning for a child, and much more. Someone you know and love has suffered with this. And all we can do is love them and wrap our arms around them. Be there to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

Sometimes that's all it takes. Nothing needs to be said, but that tender embrace may be all they need to start the healing process.

I love that I can write about this and continue healing. The battle isn't over yet, but our journey as parents has just begun! I wouldn't change anything for the world.

My door, heart, and ear are always open. I want others to be aware of the struggles we face. Maybe one day you will be the exact person they need in that heart breaking, earth shattering moment. Just to comfort, love, and be there for them.

We love you all! Thank you for letting me write my thoughts, emotions, and heartaches. This is such an important process in my healing.

Love,

Thomas, Jenny, Lincoln, and Angel Baby Graham ❤