Christ is Risen!

Easter is still over a month away, but I love reflecting on it long before the day. Lincoln has finally reached an age where he understands who Jesus is. At least in his own little way. Sometimes we get confused and call Santa, Noah, and other bearded men Jesus. It's comical, but we try to correct him so he knows who He is and how much we love Him.

I am a member of quite a few mom groups with varying ages and stages of life. It seems like there are posts about pregnancy losses daily. It hits so close to home for me. I always want to reach out and give them the biggest hug, but everyone copes and heals differently. It's hard to gauge what to do for them when they're not sure what they need for themselves.

When it was very clear (but not yet confirmed) that my last pregnancy wasn't going to work out, Thomas made a comment I will never forget. I was very blunt with him about the reality of everything. I was already very disconnected at that point and oddly content with the outcome. Thomas was finally letting it sink in. He said "I wonder if we go through this so we know how Heavenly Father must have felt with Christ." That's when I lost it. Here I was selfishly worrying about how I felt about everything, and Thomas had the most beautiful perspective. He is my rock and my everything. I was immediately comforted by his testimony of not only Christ's sacrifice, but the sacrifice the Father made as well.

One of my favorite and, in my opinion, the most heartbreaking passages of scripture is when the Father withdrew from Christ. Matthew 27:46 "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" The action of fully removing your spirit from your son and making him feel true loneliness must have been the hardest thing anyone has ever done. 

One of my favorite talks, "None Were with Him" by Jeffrey R Holland, describes His withdrawal: 

"...the Father briefly withdrew from Jesus the comfort of His Spirit, the support of His personal presence. It was required, indeed it was central to the significance of the Atonement, that this perfect Son who had never spoken ill nor done wrong nor touched an unclean thing had to know how the rest of humankind—us, all of us—would feel when we did commit such sins. For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone."

I cannot read or think about this without being completely humbled. The ultimate sacrifice on both parts. I cannot fathom how the Father felt when he had to withdraw. But it was the only way.

Right now we are in the season of Fall 2017 pregnancy announcements. They seem to come in waves. And along with those, naturally, come announcements of loss. While not very common, they are there. It's interesting to see how they're becoming more accepted in the social media platform. It's so much easier to share heartbreaking news through our phones and computers than it is face to face. I love seeing the progress and acceptance of something so common, so normal, and so important.

I mourn with and for those that are hurting. It's hard not to have those same emotions come flooding back when you hear the bad news from a friend. Newlyweds so excited to share the news only to have to come back and announce the new pregnancy was gone. A seasoned couple that finally had a successful IVF round only to share the pregnancy did not stay with them. A mama of recent loss surprised to find out she was pregnant again immediately after. And then another loss. A story very similar to mine.

If we try our hardest to hold onto the knowledge of the love of our Savior and Father, we will be comforted. Christ is Risen! He is alive! Rejoice in the the power He holds. He knows us, loves us, cares for us, and completes us. Our spirits cannot grow without Him. I am strengthened every day by the knowledge of His gospel. 

2016 was our hardest year, by far, but we have grown so much from those experiences. I know that my Heavenly Father will let me be with those babies again. I will know them, teach them, and watch them grow. I will raise those amazing spirits. 

My love for this gospel is eternal. I am healed and whole because of the gospel, despite our trials. If you would like to know more about my beliefs and my testimony of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, I invite you to go to www.lds.org to read more. 

Love, 

Jenny