The Tall and Short of US

Warning: This story will include details regarding a miscarriage and the events following. A photo of the fetus in the sac will also be shown. After it was confirmed the baby passed away at 8 weeks, we scheduled the removal of the pregnancy for two days later. Medications to help clear the pregnancy were mentioned, but the nurse and I both felt the procedure would be the best treatment. A fresh start. This morning, I woke up with a stomach ache and cramps at 4 am. I wasn't sure if I had eaten something that didn't agree with me, but I was stuck in the bathroom all morning. Eventually, I started cramping. I got into the bath to try and calm things down. It helped a little so I tried going back to bed. By 8 am the pain became unbearable. I was having major spasms and thought I was having contractions. I remembered the way it felt when I went into labor with Lincoln. Except this time was much, much more painful. I called Thomas at work to let him know things had ...

I am 11 weeks along in my third pregnancy and in the midst of my second miscarriage. It was confirmed today that the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks along. I'd been having complications, but tried holding onto that little bit of hope that everything was okay. My 7 week scan was perfect. We saw the little flutter of a heartbeat. Measuring right on time. But a week later, our little gummy bear would stop growing and return back home. But we wouldn't know for another month. We were ecstatic. I'd just had a miscarriage, so this pregnancy was a complete surprise. My first two pregnancies were Clomid babies, but this one was completely natural. And it was amazing. It was a fresh start after experiencing the pain of my first loss just a few weeks before. I had a few scares throughout the short 11 weeks I carried this baby. The first scare was just a few days after I got a positive test. And it seemed all too familiar. The scare ended up being okay. Our 7 week sc...

Before you think I'm crazy for the title, let me preface this post with my two original blog posts if you haven't seen them. This is a continuation of our previous experiences with loss. {  Who You Would Have Been  } {  Finding Happiness with Loss  } Many friends have followed up with me about my first loss. They wanted to see how I was coping and if there was anything they could do to help. As we chat, I find myself telling them how grateful I am for such a hard experience. Most of them are shocked and intrigued. Very genuinely curious. I've reflected on the conversations and decided to write them here in our family journal. Thomas Losing a pregnancy was beyond devastating. It all happened so suddenly. We saw two lines and before it really sank in, it was over. Thomas is my rock. He prayed with me and I was immediately comforted and at peace. I knew everything would work out. He has seen me at my lowest of lows and I was very close to rock b...

A few months ago Thomas got a phone call that would throw me for a loop! He was recently promoted to Trainer for Anthem and we were so excited. We knew there would be some travel involved, but only a few times a year if that. Well, they hired him and he was shipped off to Georgia just a few weeks later! Thomas stole my phone and changed the background photo. Isnt he the cutest? Ha! You're welcome, honey! At first I was ecstatic! I was so proud of him. So proud. He was doing exactly what he wanted to do. And to travel is a big deal. But soon after, the reality of what traveling meant started sinking in. He would be gone 6 weeks with one flight back home to see us. For one weekend. So with travel time, about 24 hours. Not a fun thing for us. The timing was perfect and also the worst. He would be traveling during the 4th of July holiday. My family had been planning a huge family vacation for over a year, but he needed to be at work. Thankfully, he was still ab...

Never, in a million years, did I ever expect to share something so personal on such a public platform. Miscarriage, while so heartbreaking, is very much uncomfortable. It's a natural, human reaction to freeze and lose words. You don't know how to respond. Do you hug them? Stay away? Do you say something? Tell a story? Comfort them? Stay silent? Everyone responds differently. When I've heard of friends losing their babies, I was saddened. Whether it was an acquaintance or a best friend, I felt it. Even though I had never experienced a loss until recently, I felt the heartache. It's a terrible feeling that you'd never wish upon anyone. As we've shared our story, I have realized just how common losses are. More than I ever imagined. We still have friends and families pouring out their love for us through phone calls, texts, and messages. Friends I haven't seen in 10 years have opened up to me and shared their story. Acquaintances have even opened up t...

This morning I shared this message with our friends and family: "I nfertility is real. Miscarriage is real. I can't wait for the day when my sweet little boy can hold hands with a sibling and love them just as much as we do. Heavenly Father had other plans for this baby and for us. I can now wrap my arms around every woman that has been through this and understand, even if just a little. We dreamed of a baby that would have been. Life is beautiful and we have so much love and support in a tough time. Sad things happen, but the sweet things will just be even sweeter now." Thomas and I have struggled with infertility for almost four years, as many of you already know. While pregnant with Lincoln, I wrote  this post: Growing a Human: The Happiness and Hurt . It was the first time I ever really opened up about our struggle with infertility. And now I want to open up about our struggles with losing a pregnancy. Writing helps me heal and process. There's always...

Potty learning has been a lot of fun. We're not very far into it at all, but I'm still loving it. And so is Lincoln! Naps are almost always dry these days! AMAZING! Whoop! I try to keep up on the potty all day and keep it consistent, but that's not always easy to do. It's easiest at home, but harder when driving long distances. We still haven't braved a public restroom because gross. But I'm sure we'll do that eventually! One of the biggest blessings from doing this has been the lack or rashes. Lincoln had a chronic yeast issue for a LONG time. I'm talking 3 months straight. A few months before that we battled the yeast for about 2 months. It drove me crazy. The mom guilt was fierce. It was never uncomfortable for him and never spread around too much, but it still made me so frustrated. I felt so guilty at every single diaper change. Lincoln is staying dry most of the day. He still wets here and there, but is mostly on the potty. I also t...